Hello Future Wellness Professionals!
Well, I just listened to Dacher's Loving Kindness exercise from the cd and I have to say this was really hard for me. As I listened to the woman talk me through the exercise, I had no problem envisioning a loved one whom I had a great deal of love for but when she asked me to turn this love towards myself I could not help but think of all of the things I was not being in the last few weeks instead of the love I do have for myself. I started thinking about how I should have spent more time with my kids during the days of their summer vacation instead of working on my homework, bills, laundry, etc, how I should have volunteered to help with the vacation bible school at our church but didn't, or how I should have called my Grandmother before she went into the hospital and it was too late; the list could go on here. I do love myself and think there are many things that are good about me so I tried to turn my focus to these qualities but kept waffling back and forth. From this point on, trying to project loving kindness towards another and towards strangers just wasn't working. I am not giving up though, as practice does make perfect and I intend to do as Dacher suggests and practice this exercise twice daily for the first week (maybe a few more times if it still doesn't work---hey, it can't hurt right? lol).I believe the concept of the 'Mental Workout' is the idea of contemplative practice daily. Just as improving our physical wellness means working out our bodies with exercise that focuses on endurance, flexibility, and strength by dedicating at least 30 minutes daily to a routine, improving our mental fitness will take the same dedication and practice through exercises such as Loving Kindness. According to Dacher (2006) current brain research is now also exploring how contemplative practice can have a positive impact on attention, memory, perception, imagery, and a myriad of other mental functions. Clearly, mental workouts can transform the mind by reducing disturbing emotions that cause anger and fear, the two most damaging negative emotions to our health (Dacher, 2006).
I think the best way to implement mental workouts to foster your psychological health is to set some s.m.a.r.t. goals. For example, you could start with setting aside ten minutes twice daily to practice the Loving Kindness exercise once in the morning and perhaps once at night. Keep a journal of your feelings, thoughts, and emotions each time to track your progress and evaluate your progress in one week, making any changes that would seem likely to help you keep practicing. I shall take my own advice here and keep trying the Loving Kindness exercise in the morning after my run. Perseverance right! (I shall now take off the headphones that have been on my head pinching my ears while I was writing this even though the exercise I was listening to has been over for quite some time now, lol!)
Good luck to all of you this week with the Loving Kindness exercise--hope it works for you! :)
Peace Out!
Jennifer,
ReplyDeleteI am SO glad that I was not the only one that had a hard time turning the love to myself. I didn't think I would be, but I decided to leave that part out of my post, because I didn't want to seem like a pity pool. Lol.But I reacted much the same to that part of the exercise as you did. Like you, I had a harder time after that part turning my attention and feelings toward the areas instructed throughout the rest of the exercise. A lot of the exercise was confusing and was difficult for me too.
Tara
Hi Jennifer. I thank you for being so honest in your post about feelings toward yourself. Maybe you are in need of self-love more than you thought! I'm sorry you felt so down. Maybe you can try again and focus on the great things you have done lately. Have a good weekend and very nice blog post.
ReplyDeleteBritt
Its interesting, Ive read a few times that people have had trouble finding love for themselves. I think we are too hard on ourselves, with all there is in the world no one can be perfect and we forget that. Your kids love you, your family loves you and as long as you do whats right, and you make an effort to let those peole know that you love them too I think thats a better start then most people have. I think its great that you recongize things in yourself you want to change and are working towards that, its that constant striving to be better that keeps up the good in us (I think).
ReplyDeleteps. love the pictures.
Jennifer,
ReplyDeleteI totally agree with you I was ok with the exercise until I was supposed to think of a loved one that was suffering. I had a terrible time with that one, and from there the whole exercise went down hill for me. My mind too was wondering what if the things I was thinking about them suffering would come true then I tried not to think of such terrible sufferings. I am glad that I wasn't alone and someone else also had difficulty with this exercise as well.
You seem as though you are a really busy lady and I also have 3 daughters. Mine are 5, 9, and 13. They are the joy of my life. Thanks, for sharing your experiences with us. Take Care!